I'm back.... *maybe*

Soooooo, long time no write...not that I was doing very well at actually posting on a regular basis during the past two years anyhow, ha ha. I've been trying to decide whether or not I am going to keep this blog and try to start posting again--or if I'm going to delete it. I still haven't decided either way just yet, so in the meantime I'm going to do a trial run of getting back into blogging again.

The Munchkin and I moved back to Hawaii at the end of November last year--with the help of my mom, thanks Mom! :) The month of December DRAGGED by for me--as I'm sure it did for all of the other deployed soldiers' wives. ;) But, finally, on December 30th my hubby came home safe and sound. HURRAY!!! It has been wonderful having my best friend home again--and nice to not have to snuggle with a body pillow every night while I am sleeping anymore, ha ha. :)

We hosted a belated Christmas dinner at our house for a lot of the single soldiers in our company (as well as a couple of married couples :) towards the end of January. So. Much. Food. I think I made over 300-400 cookies in the week leading up to the dinner. I kept finding new recipes I wanted to try and figured it was the perfect opportunity to do so. ;-p Not to mention all of the REAL food we made as well. Let me tell you...it was super yummy--and everyone enjoyed it, so it was a success. Going into it we wanted it to be a blessing to everyone who came, and I think it was as one of the single soldiers commented on how it felt like it was a real family gathering. I hope seeds were planted that will grow and bear fruit at some point.... Can't wait to do that again with the single guys at our next duty station after we get established there.

Speaking of which...I can't remember if I've already posted about where we are going next or not, but just in case I haven't...we will be heading to Fort Carson in Colorado towards the end of October! We can't wait to have a snowy winter this year. I keep wishing it was fall already, ha ha.

In the meantime...we have already PCS'd (Permanent Change of Station) away from Hawaii. Man, was that bittersweet! We were ready to leave--having been there so long and not really being the island/beach/city kind of people, but after you live somewhere for a while it becomes a part of you and you have memories associated with things and places there. Letting go and saying goodbye--not to mention saying goodbye to the people you've come to care for there!--can be challenging. We did our best to wrap up our time on the island by visiting all of our favorite spots (like Turtle Bay resort--where we spent our honeymoon)...and eating our favorite local foods one last time. I am grateful we took the time to do those things as I truly think it has helped with the transition back to the Mainland (we experienced some culture shock immediately after arriving back on Mainland U.S. soil and for the following 24 hours at least--it was a very odd feeling while it lasted).

So, anyhow, that was back in May. After a bunch of driving here, there, and everywhere (or so it seemed, ha ha) during the first week and a half of being back on the Mainland, we ended up back in Alabama--in our own house. My hubby has a course to do here at Fort Rucker before we head to Colorado, so here we are. :) It was nice to be able to come back to a familiar house--though we've had to make quite a few updates/repairs since we've been here--thanks Dad for coming and helping us with those after the hubby started his courses!!!! Hopefully we'll be able to finish those up soon and get the house back on the market--and then *hopefully* sold.

Oh, one other bit of news...we are getting a puppy! Hopefully we will be getting him sometime this next weekend or the week after--we are still working on the details currently. We are super excited and can't wait for him to arrive as we have missed having a dog something fierce! It came down to us realizing that we were going to HAVE to get our next dog as a puppy in order to make sure it is socialized with all of the animals and situations we need it to be able to handle without aggression...I can't lose another dog after getting attached due to it not being compatible again for one reason or another.... I'll post pictures of our new little fella soon. ;)

So, that's what has been happening in our lives lately. We'll see how this 'experiment' with blogging again goes.... I can't make any promises at this point though. I'll just have to take this one post at a time. :)

Outlaw Platoon Book Review

Writing this review has been more daunting than I initially thought it would be--not because the book was terrible or anything like that--simply because the book affected me in so many ways that I have been worried that my words will not do justice to the incredible story that it holds on it’s pages of the men who served in the platoon that came to be known as the Outlaws.

Outlaw Platoon is an incredible true story of a how a group of men from the Army’s 10^th Mountain Division—some of whom had been previously tested in battle, along with others who were completely green—forged bonds of friendship and love that transcended their vast differences and enabled them to become a united fighting force that the enemy came to recognize and loath. The author, Sean Parnell, was the platoon’s LT (Lieutenant) in 2006 when the events detailed in this book took place. As he states in the Author’s Note, his goal in writing the book is not to bring glory to any of his own actions during their time in Afghanistan, but is to bring recognition to his men—a task that he performed very well in the retelling of their story. To quote the book’s dust jacket, “Over 80 percent were wounded in action, putting their casualty rate among the highest since Gettysburg, and not all of them made it home.” The story of these men needs to be told—we must never forget the sacrifices that our troops make in service to our country—and the debt of gratitude that we owe them.

Almost immediately upon beginning to read I was swept into the action—and before I had even made it out of the Prologue I had already found myself on the brink of tears. Parnell doesn’t gloss over any of the details of what they experienced during Outlaw Platoon’s time in Afghanistan—this is a very REAL and vivid account of what he and his men experienced during their 16 month tour (though the book does not actually cover the full 16 months). *A brief word of warning—if you have a weak stomach, this may not be a suitable book for you to read as it is pretty graphic in nature. Also as may be expected (due to the nature of the book), strong language is used heavily throughout it.*

For the most part the book is generally non-stop action, and the pace of the book made it hard to put down and easy to lose track of time while reading it.

Parnell’s descriptions of his men and the people they encountered throughout the book really made them come to life for me—and quickly drew me into their lives. So, much so that whenever there was an injury—or worse—I felt as though I myself had borne witness to it as it occurred and experienced overwhelming feelings of concern, grief, and loss.

The story contained within the pages of this book is a powerful one to say the least—and provides valuable insight into how combat affects different men in different ways. Being the wife of a combat veteran I really appreciated this insight. . .it’s just one of those things that isn’t really talked about (except veteran to veteran)—and with good reason. . .as civilians we are not really able to relate to what happens in a combat situation (having never been through anything of a similar nature in MOST cases)—though we may be able to empathize to a certain level it will never be quite the same—and trying to engage a soldier in conversation in this area without it being volunteered is a pretty big no-no. That being said, I am grateful that Parnell dared to share his story and the story of his men so that they would not be forgotten—and so the world would know what the men of Outlaw Platoon did and endured along with the atrocities they witnessed and how it forged the bond between them and made them stronger.

Sadly, the book ended somewhat abruptly and left me wishing it had been longer as I felt unready for my journey with the men as the reader and ‘observer’ to be over. I had grown so attached to them during the time I was reading the book that I literally felt bereft when it ended.

I read Mark Bowden’s Black Hawk Down years ago, and while it was an incredible telling of the events that transpired that deadly Sunday in Somalia, it doesn’t have the same distinction as Outlaw Platoon does in having been written from the perspective and memory of the (then) LT who was there through it all and did himself experienced the events he has written about.

Overall, I HIGHLY recommend this book—especially to my fellow military wives. Being able to get a glimpse of what our men who go ‘outside the wire’ go through (though every situation will of course be different) is—in my humble opinion—an invaluable tool to being able to understand them better and help them through whatever residual effects there may be.

Please remember to always treat returning combat vets with the consideration and respect that they have earned. Their time spent becoming a combat vet was not an easy one and will always be a part of who they are. . .somewhere below the surface.

I would like to leave you with a couple of quotes from the end of The Return of the King (both are spoken by Frodo. . .the long one is from the movie version, the short one is from the book). I think that though they come from the mouth of a fictional character these are likely the same thoughts that our combat veterans face upon their return home—as evidenced by Parnell’s honest account in Outlaw Platoon of both his emotions and the emotions he witnessed in his men during their time together in Afghanistan.

“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand—there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. . .some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.”

“I am wounded. . .wounded; it will never really heal.”

Facing the Deployment

So, I meant to post an update a while back, but between moving, getting settled, trying to make the most of what time we had left together, saying goodbye, and now trying to settle into a new routine, there just wasn't any time left over to blog in.

Here I am now though! We arrived in Virginia November 30th, and Munchkin and I said goodbye to DH January 1st. He hasn't deployed yet (though that is coming up in the near future--for OPSEC reasons I will not be posting specific dates and times in order to not do anything to compromise the safety of my husband or the other troops deploying with him), but his leave was up on January 2nd and he had to be there to sign in in person. It's hard to believe that this past Sunday marked it as having only been one week since we said goodbye at the airport--it already feels like we've been apart for AT LEAST a couple of MONTHS. :-( It's going to be a long year folks, please keep all of us in your prayers as we try to make the best of it and keep a positive attitude throughout this deployment. THANK YOU!!!

I've been doing okay for the most part . . . the hardest times are at night when I am putting Munchkin to bed and when I have to turn out the light and I am still all alone. My hubby recorded himself reading a couple of Munchkin's favorite bedtime stories with our video camera and so Munchkin and I watch those every night before bed . . . it is both comforting and yet unbearable to watch (in some aspects). I hate that my husband is going to miss a year of our son's life (especially at this age when he is growing and changing SO much), and I hate that I can't explain to Munchkin WHY his daddy isn't there in person reading the stories to him, giving him a hug and kiss, and then turning off the light. It breaks my heart when I have to close the video camera after the stories are done and Munchkin gets upset because he can't see his daddy anymore. I worry about how this time of separation is going to affect/disrupt his relationship with my hubby. I worry that he will eventually only remember him as "the man on the screen" because he will only get to see him in pictures, videos, Skype, and FaceTime. If I still have any other military spouses reading this blog, any ideas/advice on how to keep a two-year old bonded with his daddy while he is away would be GREATLY appreciated. I'm struggling here and desperately need some sort of validation or suggestions as to how I can help them stay connected.

 Last family picture for awhile...this was taken just before we left for the airport (note the mischievous expression on Munchkin's face, :-p).

Munchkin while we were out playing in the backyard a few days ago.

Of Training and Deployment

So, here I am--again. It's been a month since I posted anything, and I don't really have a very good excuse as to why I haven't. Here goes. . . .

The Hubby left for more away training back at the end of July, so the Munchkin and I have been holding down the fort since then. Thankfully it is nearly over with and my husband will be home soon! I will be SO happy to have him home again! This past month has dragged by--despite my efforts to stay busy and get some things done around the house.

This separation has made the upcoming deployment so much more real . . . up until he left I was able to kind of 'keep the deployment at bay' so-to-speak. I could convince myself that it was still pretty far off and that I didn't need to worry about it yet--never mind that the days, weeks, and months have been flying by since just before we hit the 'scheduled-to-deploy-in-a-year' mark. However, the fact that that he's already been gone for nearly a month for training with a bit left to go yet, and that by the time he returns we will only have a few short months together before he leaves us for a year (more on this in a minute) has really been starting to sink in while he's been away. It's made for some moments of sadness here and there . . . but I just keep reminding myself that "This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24) I don't want our last few months together to be filled with apprehension, tension, and stress. I'd rather that they be filled with fun times together and lots of good memories made.

Some of you who have heard about the Army cutting 3 months off of the standard year long deployment time may be wondering why my husband is still going over there for a year. Well, unfortunately, the 9-month deployment doesn't count for his brigade at this point due to many reasons (one of the biggest is probably due to the fact that they are an Aviation brigade--though I don't know that for sure, so please don't quote me on that!--they ARE trying to find a way to make it a 9-month deployment, but they don't sound very hopeful that it will happen before they leave. . . . That's not going to stop me from hoping that a miracle will happen though! We'll just have to wait and see). I truly am thrilled for the soldiers and their families who do get to cut 3 months off of their deployments though! I can't resent anyone else getting to have their husband/wife back earlier just cause mine has to stay longer.

While we are on the topic of the upcoming deployment though . . . as many of you know, the munchkin and I will be moving back to Virginia (to those of you who know where in VA--please do not post anything specific if you decide to comment on this or any future posts! Thanks!) for the duration of the deployment. Initially my husband and I were fully intending on my staying here, but more and more things kept pointing toward my moving back to Virginia, so after a lot of prayer and consideration, we decided that it would be better for me to move back for a year instead of stay here for that time. And, no, I'm not "running home to Mommy" as has been hinted at by someone I know. One of the biggest reasons I'm moving home instead of staying here is to give my husband peace of mind (and no, it's not cause he doesn't think I can take care of myself, ha ha) . . . there have been a lot of 'signs of the times' lately and in the event that some awful natural disaster affects Hawaii or if something horrific happens worldwide my husband feels much better knowing that for one thing, that I won't be completely isolated from friends and family--and also that I will be armed, because in VA I fully intend on getting another concealed carry license. There are other reasons as well, such as: why stay here surrounded by suburbs and city when I can move back the middle-of-nowhere where I'll feel like I have room to breathe again and not constantly be hearing traffic and sirens? Why stay here alone--considering the fact that all of the women that I consider to be my friends here are either PCSing or are also moving home for the deployment? Plus, why wouldn't I want to move away from the tropics to somewhere where the munchkin and I will actually get to enjoy snow?! Woo-hoo! :-p That wasn't facetious, by the way, I really am looking forward to being back in a place where it snows (if only it were under different circumstances! :-( ). So, there you have it: the abbreviated list of why I am moving back to VA.

I'm not going to lie and say that I don't have any apprehensions about moving away from here though. Because I do . . . you see, when you live in a military community EVERYONE knows what you are going through and that can be an amazing support system. People know what topics are sensitive ones and what NOT to ask. It's kind of funny, military spouses have compiled lists of things that they wish their non-military family and friends wouldn't say or ask during a deployment. I'll have to see if I can find it and post it, because it's SO true (if you are a military spouse reading this, I'm sure you know what I am talking about! :-) So, yeah, the thought of being surrounded by a civilian community that doesn't have a clue what I am going through scares me to death. To any of my civilian friends reading this--I love you guys--please don't take offense to this, I'm not trying to offend anyone! I'm just being real here--I'm nervous about not having the support of other military wives going through the same thing as myself. Thankfully though, one of my good friends from here will also be moving home to VA, she'll be a few hours away, but at least I'll be able to see her every now and then--and we'll be in the same time zone, ha ha!

Well, I couldn't find the exact list that I was looking for, but this one covered the biggest ones:  Top Things Not to Say to the Spouse of a Deployed Soldier . Hopefully reading it will be somewhat helpful to anyone who hasn't experienced a deployment firsthand themselves.

Well, that's about it for now. I'll try to post some pictures in the *near* future, ha ha. If any of this post seemed kind of disjointed or random . . . I kind of didn't go back and proof read it to make sure that I finished my trains of thought. Hopefully it won't be too scrambled!