A Piece of My Heart

I've put this off long enough. . . . I thought of not writing about it at all as writing makes it more real, but I can't pretend that it didn't happen, so here goes. . . .

Going into a deployment there is always the knowledge that something could happen, but there is also the overlying optimism that nothing will. Tragically, real life doesn't always go the way we think it should. . . . April 19th was one of those times.

If any of you were watching the news anytime during or after the afternoon of the 19th, then you probably know that a Blackhawk helicopter went down in Afghanistan while performing a rescue operation. The next two and a half days passed in a blur as we (the wives and families of our aviation brigade--we knew it was within our brigade, but didn't know any other details) held our breath and waited for any news about what had happened. Thankfully, I knew my husband was safe because I had been talking to him when it happened. A couple of my fellow wives and friends knew that their husband's were safe as well--having also just talked to them. However, that news was bittersweet as we waited to learn the identities of the men we had lost--wondering just how close to home the news was going to hit. . . . We were horrified when we realized just how close to home it was.

When the news slowly started to come in, it was one heartbreaking blow after another. The men who are just names to most who have watched the news or read the articles, are so much more than that to us--they were our friends, and indeed a part of our family. They were part of my husband's company and a couple were close friends.

Let me just say right now that I am incredibly grateful to have had two of my fellow military wives to lean on during that time of waiting and wondering. We were able to provide support to each other during that time and it was good to know that we weren't each alone in our fears. I am very thankful that God provided me with my 'battle-buddies'. . .having other wives to talk to who understood exactly what I was going through (and I them) really did help--especially since all three of us relocated for the deployment and were far away from other military families who could relate in ways that civilians cannot (not bashing civilian friends, just saying there is a difference in understanding when you are in the midst of a similar situation yourself [or have been in the past] vs. being on the outside looking in. . . .).

It's hard to believe that come this Saturday, a month will have already passed since we suffered this heavy loss to our company. My heart still aches for the families whose lives have been forever changed--as well as for my husband and for the others in his company and the entire aviation brigade overall.

Please remember to pray for the families of our fallen heroes: CW2 Nick Johnson, CW2 Don Viray, SPC Dean Shaffer, and SPC Chris Workman. The past 3 1/2 weeks have without a doubt been some of the most difficult in their lives. . . . Please also pray for my husband and the others in his company as the loss of their brothers is understandably hard. God is at work through this tragedy though. . .as we have seen the evidence of His workings.

Also, please pray for the wives and families of our remaining deployed soldiers. . .I know I speak for more than myself when I say that the events of April 19th really shook us up in some ways and truly broke our hearts at the loss of our friends and extended family.

Thank you.

Valentine's Day Care Package

Sooooo, I'm over a month late in posting this, but I figured I'd go ahead and post it anyhow. . . .

This is a breakdown of the package Munchkin and I sent to the hubby for Valentine's Day. It ended up taking me longer to get everything finished and then actually get to the Post Office, so I was really concerned that it was going to arrive late. We were shocked when it actually arrived at the end of the week (on the 11th!) since I'd only mailed it out on the Monday before. I was definitely praising God for that blessing!!

So, not only did it arrive on time for Valentine's Day, but we also got to 'be there' via Skype to watch my hubby open it--so much fun!!! I'd had a blast getting everything together and giggling over things that I thought would make him smile. . .it was a huge plus actually getting to see it happen. =)

Many of my ideas came from Pinterest (anyone who has NOT been on that site needs to check it out STAT! It is addicting though. . .so many good ideas on it--though I should warn you that there are also some rather inappropriate images that get pinned on there occasionally as well. =( Ugh.), and I will be including the links to the tutorials for those under their respective pictures.

Okay, now on to the contents of the box. . . .

Love Bugs! Aren't they cute? I even made a 'Baby Lovebug' so the Munchkin could be included! =) This is one of the Pinterest crafts, to see the tutorial, click here.

The only thing I had to prevent them from getting crushed in the box was this index card box.

I made little blank cards out of white cardstock to have something to put in the little mailbox I was sending (pictures below), then I stamped on them with my cute, Valentine's Day stamps.

On the other side I wrote romantic quotes. ;-)

Then I used these cute, itty-bitty clothes pins that I got from Michael's to keep them 'sealed' after I folded them.

I searched high and low for this mailbox!!! Most stores only had the cardboard ones. . .I was rather particular about getting an aluminum one. . .couldn't have it getting crushed now could I? :-p

These sealed the personal mini-love notes that I put in the mailbox (they are actually little clothes pins not quite as small as the ones with hearts above, but still quite small though you can't really tell that from the photo). These were inspired by something quite similar on Pinterest, but they are too simple to require a tutorial, so I never even clicked on the picture, ha ha.

This was a LOT of fun, but also a lot of work, lol. Not that I don't have at least 52 things that I love about my hubby, I was just trying to make each one completely different from the rest and not be redundant with similar things. This was a Pinterest inspired project. There are many variations of it, here a links to a couple of them: the one I followed  and another good one.

A glimpse of one of the things I love about my hubby! ;-)

And another. ;-p Ha ha!

Pictures and videos I wanted to send to him along with a playlist of love songs I'd chosen just for him (and another playlist just of other random songs I thought he might enjoy). I had originally meant to video Munchkin and myself with a 'special Valentine's Day message', but we ran out of time, so I didn't. :-/

Lyrics from Josh Turner's "The Longer the Waiting (the Sweeter the Kiss)".

I figured, "Hey, he's red!" Ha ha!

Amigurumi Hearts--Munchkin is still talking about these whenever he sees me crocheting anything. . .he has had an obsession with hearts ever since I made these! These were another Pinterest find, you can see the tutorial here.

What is Valentine's Day without candles? The can was a random idea that I had one day for making a tea light holder. . .I used a nail and punched holes out to form hearts: two large and two (?) small. It took FOREVER. Note to self: next time, glue it to the floor and use a nail gun.

I HAD to send Hugs and Kisses. :-D

Maybe I should have sent a toothbrush and toothpaste with the box. . . .

The steamy love letter. Mwahahahah! Okay, seriously, I still blush every time I think about this.
*ETA: By "steamy" I don't mean inappropriate. . .just more 'lovey-dovey' than what I normally write in my regular letters.*

The contents of this box will remain known only to my hubby and me. :-p

I had no idea you could 'wrap' a box on the inside until I saw the amazingly creative care packages that other military S.O.s had made while searching for ideas on what to do. It was a lot of fun to do and I think my hubby really enjoyed seeing something other than the inside of a brown box for once, ha ha.

I didn't want the thumb drive to get lost and wanted to make sure my hubby saw it, so I taped it to one of the flaps. :-p

So, there you have it. We don't normally do much of anything for Valentine's Day, but I decided I was going to make this year special. My hubby surprised me by e-mailing my printer a list of "100 Reasons Why I Love You" (the day BEFORE my package to him arrived--proof that our hearts and brains are still connected even so far apart!!) so it would be printed and waiting for me to find (I LOVE it when he does that with random notes and stuff!). He was so sweet--it made me get all choked up more than once. I'm going to treasure that list forever and always!!! I'm so blessed to have such a thoughtful husband!

Even though we couldn't spend this past Valentine's Day together, it was still pretty amazing I think! I'm not sure how we are going to 'out-do' it next year. . . . I'll have to start coming up with ideas soon, ha ha.

How did you celebrate Valentine's Day this year or in years past?

Facing the Deployment

So, I meant to post an update a while back, but between moving, getting settled, trying to make the most of what time we had left together, saying goodbye, and now trying to settle into a new routine, there just wasn't any time left over to blog in.

Here I am now though! We arrived in Virginia November 30th, and Munchkin and I said goodbye to DH January 1st. He hasn't deployed yet (though that is coming up in the near future--for OPSEC reasons I will not be posting specific dates and times in order to not do anything to compromise the safety of my husband or the other troops deploying with him), but his leave was up on January 2nd and he had to be there to sign in in person. It's hard to believe that this past Sunday marked it as having only been one week since we said goodbye at the airport--it already feels like we've been apart for AT LEAST a couple of MONTHS. :-( It's going to be a long year folks, please keep all of us in your prayers as we try to make the best of it and keep a positive attitude throughout this deployment. THANK YOU!!!

I've been doing okay for the most part . . . the hardest times are at night when I am putting Munchkin to bed and when I have to turn out the light and I am still all alone. My hubby recorded himself reading a couple of Munchkin's favorite bedtime stories with our video camera and so Munchkin and I watch those every night before bed . . . it is both comforting and yet unbearable to watch (in some aspects). I hate that my husband is going to miss a year of our son's life (especially at this age when he is growing and changing SO much), and I hate that I can't explain to Munchkin WHY his daddy isn't there in person reading the stories to him, giving him a hug and kiss, and then turning off the light. It breaks my heart when I have to close the video camera after the stories are done and Munchkin gets upset because he can't see his daddy anymore. I worry about how this time of separation is going to affect/disrupt his relationship with my hubby. I worry that he will eventually only remember him as "the man on the screen" because he will only get to see him in pictures, videos, Skype, and FaceTime. If I still have any other military spouses reading this blog, any ideas/advice on how to keep a two-year old bonded with his daddy while he is away would be GREATLY appreciated. I'm struggling here and desperately need some sort of validation or suggestions as to how I can help them stay connected.

 Last family picture for awhile...this was taken just before we left for the airport (note the mischievous expression on Munchkin's face, :-p).

Munchkin while we were out playing in the backyard a few days ago.

We Found a House!

Yep, as the title suggests we found a place to call home for the duration of my hubby's deployment (though it's hard to fathom it really feeling like 'home' without his presence!). It's a cute little house in a beautiful setting, set back from the road and relatively private. My mom was awesome and did all of the running around checking out the various houses we have been looking into, taking pictures, and then promptly e-mailing us the pictures with descriptions and thoughts (thanks Mom! :).


We submitted applications for two different places, but one of the places--though it had a nicer house that was somewhat more convenient in a lot of ways--we had some concerns about, so we prayed that God would close the door on their end if it wasn't the place for us. To make a long story short, the door was closed. We were accepted for the second house and sent in the security deposit today.


As I'm sure you can imagine, not having to worry about finding a place to live now is a HUGE stress reliever!! Though the house isn't perfect and I'm going to have a LOT of baby-proofing to do, I am very grateful to not have to worry about finding a place to live anymore (especially one that fit all of our specifications!). So, without further ado, here are a couple of the pictures my mom sent....

 

Off to the right is the horse pasture....

 Just another view of the front....

So there you have it! Our future home. 

Oh, please be praying for the truck to sell quickly! The guy that was going to buy it last weekend backed out, but there is another guy who wants to take a look at it tomorrow, so we are praying that will go well. As much as we hate to see it go, we do need it to sell so we can have the money we need for the move. 

I will try my best to keep updating more often as we prepare for the move and deployment...I know things are bound to become pretty hectic and stressful at times around here, but I will *try* to post more often. I do miss blogging!

Life Update

Hello everyone! Hello . . . anyone? Hellllllooooo? Anyone still here reading this thing? I wouldn't blame you if you're not (though I guess if you just read that, then you haven't given up on me quite yet--YAY!). :-)

Well, for those of you who are in fact still reading this, I shall attempt to give you as much of an update as I can before something catastrophic happens and I can't write anymore, ha ha.

My hubby came home the first week of September (WOO-HOO!), and it has been SO wonderful having him home again (of course :-). Munchkin still gets worried though when Hubby has to leave for work and he gets clingy to his daddy as soon as he realizes that Daddy is about to leave. I try not to dwell on it much, but seeing him react that way makes this upcoming deployment even more difficult. . .it's not like I can effectively explain to him at such a tender age why his daddy has to leave and when he will be back. I think that breaks my heart more than the thought of being apart from my Hubby myself--at least I understand where he is going, why, and for how long--and therefore have the ability to come to terms with it--Munchkin doesn't have that luxury at this point in his life. :-(

Anyhow, before I go getting all sad at the thought of my sweet Munchkin's utter confusion at the disappearance of his daddy, I guess I'd better change the topic to something else (albeit still deployment related--as is most everything in our lives right now!).

We are still searching for a place to live in Virginia. We have a couple of prospective places, and are supposed to hear back on one of them this weekend, so we shall see. We are trusting God to open/close doors as He sees fit, though I am really hoping He will open doors sooner rather than later! Not as I will Father, but as you will. I have to constantly remind myself of that.

I am slowly starting to put things in boxes to be put in storage here while the Munchkin and I are in Virginia . . . it's slow going with a Munchkin who rarely naps these days (unless we are out driving during naptime--and sometimes even then he won't nap) and would get into everything I'm in the process of trying to box up if I let him. So I think I've gotten a grand total of 4 boxes packed in about 3 weeks time. Yay me. :-p I'm on a roll y'all! Okay, so maybe I'm not quite going at the pace I should be yet, but I intend to get there . . . I just don't know when. :-p Thankfully, after we first moved here I insisted that we start organizing and categorizing our random "stuff" so quite a bit of that is already boxed up in plastic tubs, so at least I don't have to worry about all of that.

Oh, we are selling our truck. A guy from another island is buying it tomorrow morning . . . to tell the truth, I'm glad he lives on another island--if I had to see someone else driving our truck around I would be so sad. I know it's just a worldly possession, but we are still very sad to see it go. We knew it was going to have to happen before we left the island since we will need to get another bigger truck at our next duty station (one that is actually able to haul the weight of a horse trailer with horses in it without straining), and though we did contemplate keeping this one as my primary means of transportation, it just isn't practical as a Baby-Mobile. Plus, now the Army has suddenly announced that they aren't going to pay to store anyone's vehicles like normal during the deployment, so it's not like we had much leeway to change our minds anyway in the end. I'm going to miss it. I didn't realize last Sunday would be the last time I would get to ride in it until this afternoon. *sniff*

One last thing, please, please, PLEASE join with us in praying for a homeless friend of ours--we don't know much about him yet--just that he has fallen on hard times somehow (doesn't matter how), but we think he might be a Brother in Christ and he could really use your prayers. So, please, won't you take a minute of your time and remember to pray for Raymond and his dog, Coby. I know he would appreciate it--more than you might ever know. If we are able to track him down this weekend we are going to give him a weatherproof Bible, so please pray that God would use us to minister to him. THANK YOU.

 

What You SHOULD Say (A Follow Up on Yesterday's Post)

After posting to my blog yesterday and including the link to the list of "Things Not to Say to the Spouse of a Deployed Soldier" (see previous post), I came across another article that will probably be just as informative. It is the opposite of the first and is called: "Things You Should Say During Deployment" 



For me personally, most of these probably wouldn't apply on a day to day basis as I am not an 'I-need-to-get-out-there-and-socialize-all-the-time' kind of person to begin with. For example: my husband has been gone for nearly a month and I've only driven somewhere twice since then. Once to pick up a package--and thereby prevent it's being stolen--at the house of a friend who is home with her family while our husbands are away at training, and to the grocery store the other time. So, as you can tell, I don't get out much. Ha ha! I don't expect that will be the case to the same extent in VA because I know my way around that area a lot more and am more comfortable driving there than I am here. But I digress, back to the original topic. . . . However, it is likely applicable to most military spouses, and may on occasion apply to me as well--though we'll have to wait and see, ha ha.

Anyhow, I thought it might be something worth reading for all of my non-military friends who haven't ever been around any military spouses while their husbands are gone.

Cheers!

Of Training and Deployment

So, here I am--again. It's been a month since I posted anything, and I don't really have a very good excuse as to why I haven't. Here goes. . . .

The Hubby left for more away training back at the end of July, so the Munchkin and I have been holding down the fort since then. Thankfully it is nearly over with and my husband will be home soon! I will be SO happy to have him home again! This past month has dragged by--despite my efforts to stay busy and get some things done around the house.

This separation has made the upcoming deployment so much more real . . . up until he left I was able to kind of 'keep the deployment at bay' so-to-speak. I could convince myself that it was still pretty far off and that I didn't need to worry about it yet--never mind that the days, weeks, and months have been flying by since just before we hit the 'scheduled-to-deploy-in-a-year' mark. However, the fact that that he's already been gone for nearly a month for training with a bit left to go yet, and that by the time he returns we will only have a few short months together before he leaves us for a year (more on this in a minute) has really been starting to sink in while he's been away. It's made for some moments of sadness here and there . . . but I just keep reminding myself that "This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24) I don't want our last few months together to be filled with apprehension, tension, and stress. I'd rather that they be filled with fun times together and lots of good memories made.

Some of you who have heard about the Army cutting 3 months off of the standard year long deployment time may be wondering why my husband is still going over there for a year. Well, unfortunately, the 9-month deployment doesn't count for his brigade at this point due to many reasons (one of the biggest is probably due to the fact that they are an Aviation brigade--though I don't know that for sure, so please don't quote me on that!--they ARE trying to find a way to make it a 9-month deployment, but they don't sound very hopeful that it will happen before they leave. . . . That's not going to stop me from hoping that a miracle will happen though! We'll just have to wait and see). I truly am thrilled for the soldiers and their families who do get to cut 3 months off of their deployments though! I can't resent anyone else getting to have their husband/wife back earlier just cause mine has to stay longer.

While we are on the topic of the upcoming deployment though . . . as many of you know, the munchkin and I will be moving back to Virginia (to those of you who know where in VA--please do not post anything specific if you decide to comment on this or any future posts! Thanks!) for the duration of the deployment. Initially my husband and I were fully intending on my staying here, but more and more things kept pointing toward my moving back to Virginia, so after a lot of prayer and consideration, we decided that it would be better for me to move back for a year instead of stay here for that time. And, no, I'm not "running home to Mommy" as has been hinted at by someone I know. One of the biggest reasons I'm moving home instead of staying here is to give my husband peace of mind (and no, it's not cause he doesn't think I can take care of myself, ha ha) . . . there have been a lot of 'signs of the times' lately and in the event that some awful natural disaster affects Hawaii or if something horrific happens worldwide my husband feels much better knowing that for one thing, that I won't be completely isolated from friends and family--and also that I will be armed, because in VA I fully intend on getting another concealed carry license. There are other reasons as well, such as: why stay here surrounded by suburbs and city when I can move back the middle-of-nowhere where I'll feel like I have room to breathe again and not constantly be hearing traffic and sirens? Why stay here alone--considering the fact that all of the women that I consider to be my friends here are either PCSing or are also moving home for the deployment? Plus, why wouldn't I want to move away from the tropics to somewhere where the munchkin and I will actually get to enjoy snow?! Woo-hoo! :-p That wasn't facetious, by the way, I really am looking forward to being back in a place where it snows (if only it were under different circumstances! :-( ). So, there you have it: the abbreviated list of why I am moving back to VA.

I'm not going to lie and say that I don't have any apprehensions about moving away from here though. Because I do . . . you see, when you live in a military community EVERYONE knows what you are going through and that can be an amazing support system. People know what topics are sensitive ones and what NOT to ask. It's kind of funny, military spouses have compiled lists of things that they wish their non-military family and friends wouldn't say or ask during a deployment. I'll have to see if I can find it and post it, because it's SO true (if you are a military spouse reading this, I'm sure you know what I am talking about! :-) So, yeah, the thought of being surrounded by a civilian community that doesn't have a clue what I am going through scares me to death. To any of my civilian friends reading this--I love you guys--please don't take offense to this, I'm not trying to offend anyone! I'm just being real here--I'm nervous about not having the support of other military wives going through the same thing as myself. Thankfully though, one of my good friends from here will also be moving home to VA, she'll be a few hours away, but at least I'll be able to see her every now and then--and we'll be in the same time zone, ha ha!

Well, I couldn't find the exact list that I was looking for, but this one covered the biggest ones:  Top Things Not to Say to the Spouse of a Deployed Soldier . Hopefully reading it will be somewhat helpful to anyone who hasn't experienced a deployment firsthand themselves.

Well, that's about it for now. I'll try to post some pictures in the *near* future, ha ha. If any of this post seemed kind of disjointed or random . . . I kind of didn't go back and proof read it to make sure that I finished my trains of thought. Hopefully it won't be too scrambled!